Your gift of support and caring presence is often deeply appreciated. Remember, life is a gift live in the “present”. Here are ways you can offer hope, support and healing to a friend or loved one struggling with the following concerns:
Battling Cancer…
- Listen: Each situation is unique so don’t compare someone else’s experience to your own or anyone elses. Allow the individual to share feelings and talk about what is going on.
- Avoid Cliches: Try not to use phrases that minimize the situation, comment on the patient’s appearance, or presume a certain outcome, positive or negative.
- Lend a Hand: Offer to help in specific ways like preparing meals, running errands or doing routine chores.
- Humor Helps (when appropriate): Sharing a joke or something that will bring a smile can help immensely. Walk down memory lane by sharing funny stories or events.
- Stay Connected: Don’t disappear or avoid the individual. Maintaining contact that is true to your relationship shows the individual that although their health may have changed, your relationship hasn’t. This is also a good time to renew relationships and clear up past misunderstandings to make the relationship “whole” again.
Loss of a Loved One…
Reaching out when someone loses a loved one might be easier than you think and more rewarding than you might imagine. Try these comforting ways to offer hope, support and healing during times of loss:
- Be You: Stay true to yourself and your relationship with the griever and both of you will feel more at ease.
- Be Present: Let the griever feel whatever she feels without judgement
- Share a Memory: If you knew the deceased, share a favorite story or memory of them.
- Send a Handwritten Note: Your words, however simple or few, can serve as tangible reminders of support and hope for the bereaved.
- Avoid Cliches: Try not to use phrases that minimize the grievers loss like “it was for the best” “you’ll be okay” or “they’re in a better place now”
- Be Patient: There is no timeline for grieve, so don’t pressure the griever to “move on” or “get over it”. Allow them time to grieve, feel and heal–however long it may take.
Mental Illness…
Mental Illness is on the rise, and with it, understanding and resources for those it affects are in greater awareness. Here are some simple ways to be a source of hope, support and healing for someone suffering from Mental Health Decline or Depression:
- Learn: If there is a diagnosis, learn about the illness and how it affects her. Each person’s experience is unique and you may find you need the help of a medical professional to manage the situation if you are the caregiver.
- Share Support: Offer support in a way that feels authentic to your relationship. It’s important to consider what type of support to offer and when.
- Respect Limitations: Be understanding if your loved one has to avoid certain social situations or her needs change over time.
- Stay Connected: If you have a healthy relationship, reach out to the individual on a regular basis or establish routines that bring you together.
- Be Compassionate: Mental and Emotional disorders can create a ripple effect of relational challenges. Give the person you care for and yourself plenty of grace to learn, cope and grow.
Undergoing a Medical Procedure, Treatment or Surgery…
- Listen: Medical procedures and periods of recovery can elicit feelings of fear, anxiety, frustration, hope, excitement and more. Let the individual express how she is feeling and offer support and understanding.
- Make a Plan: Help the patient know what to anticipate after the procedure, including who to call for assistance.
- Pay a Visit: Plan in advance and check in again before and after the procedure to make sure they are still feeling up for company.
- Bring the World to Them: A familiar face or favorite pastime can lift the patients spirits. Think of her favorite food, music, game, books or shows. Bring several close friends for a short visit if the patient is up for company.
- Be Patient: Each recovery process is unique. Encourage the individual to take her time returning “well” and to gain full healing–and that they are worth it!
